Clara's Confession (Or Lack Of)
by raggedybluebox
Summary: I watched Journey to the Centre of the Tardis yesterday (along with most Whovians) and thought that since the 50th anniversary's coming up and and everyone will know who Clara is I'd throw a little 'scene that will never exist' out there. This is my first ever fan fiction online so I hope you like! x (Clara yells what 9 once said to Rose near the end btw, if that helps confusion)


'Clara?' The Doctor stepped out from a branching hall and climbed the steps to find her gasping and staring at a blank computer screen.

The Tardis glowed blue and white and shuddered when he approached. The Doctor edged closer, nervously adjusting his bow-tie. 'Why are you doing that?' He asked warily. 'Clara, I told you not to mess with her controls!'

The Doctor tilted his head suddenly, listening to the soft whooshing of his beloved time machine. For a moment he kept walking, pressing his ear closer to the Tardis' central column, and the source of the wheezing. Then he stopped, stock-still, and stared at the girl, that normal, ordinary girl, who was stood shaking in front of him, gazing at her as though he'd only just recognised her presence. 'You know.'

Clara looked up at him without answering, her eyes wide.

'She's told you…' Baffled, he rushed forwards, started flicking switches, toggling toggles. 'Why would you tell Clara?' he demanded, glowering up at the glowing central column of his time machine. 'If you knew, if all along you knew, why didn't you tell me?'

There was no response.

'Fine,' he said quietly, turning to Clara. 'Shut me out if you want, but _she_-' he gestured to Clara, who was hugging her body, '-she'll tell me the truth!'

His voice grew soft as he looked at her. 'Clara?'

He reached out to unfold her arms, but she staggered back.

'What? What's the matter?' He looked alarmed.

That's when he found that he could see something unfamiliar in her eyes – a look he'd only ever known one person to give him before.

She was shutting him out.

'Clara,' he repeated gently. 'If you're scared, it doesn't matter.' He stretched his arms out wide. 'There's nothing to be frightened of. It's just me.'

Still nothing. She looked like she was going to break.

'You can tell me,' he said, with a strained grin. 'It's about time someone explained you, eh? Resurrecting all the time!' He ruffled her hair. 'Go on then. Let the mystery be solved!'

'Doctor, please don't touch me,' she whispered. 'I'm not a mystery.'

'Oh, come on! You know now – whatever the TARDIS showed you, whatever you _saw, _you know what you are!' He roared, slamming his hand down on the control panel. She jumped. 'So tell me!'

'I can't.' Her voice was tiny.

The Doctor stared at her. 'What?'

'I can't tell you.' She backed away a step, towards the doors. Her eyes were bright but she wasn't crying. Yet.

'No, don't leave, don't leave, Clara, please.' He raised his hands, and took a slow, deliberate step towards her.

She wavered, on the edge of running away. Then she grabbed him and hugged him, her eyes squeezing shut, tears leaking onto his suit. The Doctor tried to hold her, but she'd already let go.

'I love you.' Once the words were out there was no taking them back. 'I never thought I'd fall in love but…I'm your companion, aren't I? And that's what we do.' She frowned, her smile smaller. 'You love me too, right?' Her laugh was nervous. 'Otherwise that would be…um, really awkward.'

The Doctor was speechless. He stared at her, the only mystery worth solving, the girl who had lit up his existence since the death of… He couldn't think their names. Instead he saw Clara…really _saw _her.

She looked conflicted; half-way between the elated Clara he knew and the one who would shatter if he ever said he didn't love her back. She was waiting. He felt the seconds, hot and heavy, fall on the moment between them like candlewax. Her eyes were shining, scared but mostly confident. What he did now would define who she would become.

'Clara, stop it,' the Doctor shouted, shoving the thoughts aside. 'Just stop it, and tell me who you are!'

Her expression changed to shock faster than light. She'd always been quick, but maybe she was jumping to conclusions.

'But…you…you _said,_ when you talked, about love and…' She took a step away from him, studying his face. 'You really don't love me, do you?' She pressed a hand against her forehead and then flicked it away from her. 'I can't even look at you now. So much for it sticking out…'

She was trying to joke about it, but he could see her internal world crumbling. She wasn't fooling either of them.

'Another time, Clara, any other time,' the Doctor said quickly. 'Of course I lo-like, I like you very much and now is not the time for this conversation.'

'This is who I am!' she yelled, her eyes now sparkling through tears. 'Right here, right now! Alright? All that counts is here and now and this is me! Isn't that good enough for you?'

The Doctor's eyes widened. 'Rose?'

'Wrong again,' Clara said angrily. He saw pain flicker across her eyes, which had somehow managed to lose their light. 'But you can say hi from me when you meet her.' Then she turned on her heel and stormed out of the Tardis, leaving the Doctor standing alone. Again.


End file.
